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I called off my wedding the internet will never forget

Lauren Goode - minutes I still have a photograph of the breakfast I made the morning I ended an eight-year relationship and canceled a wedding It was an unremarkable breakfast ??a fried egg ??but it is now digitally fossilized in a oral dish we moved with us when we left New York and headed west I don ? t know why I took the photo except well I do I had fallen into the re exive habit of taking photos of everything Not long ago the egg popped up as a ??memory ? in a photo app The time stamp jolted my actual memory It was May when we split up back when people canceled weddings and called o ? relationships because of good old-fashioned dysfunction not a global pandemic Back when you wondered if seating two people next to each other at a wedding might result in awkward conversation not hospitalization Did I want to see the photo again Not really Nor do I want to see the wedding ads on Instagram or a near-daily collage of wedding paraphernalia on Pinterest or the ??Happy Anniversary ? emails from WeddingWire which for a long time arrived every month on the day we were to be married Never mind that anniversaries are supposed to be annual Yet nearly two years later these things Cstill clutter my feeds The photo widget on my iPad cycles through pictures of wedding dresses Of the thousands of memories I have stored on my devices ??and in the cloud now ??most are cloudless reminders of happier times But some are painful and when algorithms surface these images my sense of time and place becomes warped It ? s been especially pronounced this year for obvious and overlapping reasons In order to move forward in a pandemic most of us were supposed to go almost nowhere Time became shapeless And that turned us into sitting ducks for technology Our smartphones pulse with memories now In normal times we may strain to remember things for practical reasons ??where we parked the car ??or we may stumble into surprise associations between the present and the past like when a whi ? of something reminds me of Sunday family dinners Now that our memories are digital though they are incessant haphazard intrusive It ? s hard to pinpoint exactly when apps started co-opting memories madly deploying them to boost engagement and make a buck o ? nostalgia The groundwork was laid in the early s right around the time my now ex and I started dating For better or worse I have been a tech super-user since then too In my job as a technology journalist I ? ve spent the past dozen years tweeting checking in joining online groups experimenting with digital payments wearing multiple activity trackers trying every ??story ? app and applying every gauzy photo ?lter Unwittingly I spent years drafting a technical blueprint for the relationship one that I couldn ? t delete when the construction