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childluresprevention.com Promoting Respectful Behaviors to Prevent Sexual Abuse

childluresprevention.com Promoting Respectful Behaviors to Prevent Sexual Abuse, Abduction, Bullying, Intolerance, Cyber Exploitation & School Violence By Kenneth Wooden, PARENT GUIDE Think First & Stay Safe TM Rosemary Webb & Jennifer Mitchell Take-home Guide to the Think First & Stay Safe School Program for Grades PreK-2, 3-4 and 5-6. For Review Purposes Only: Not for Distribution 2 Dear Concerned Parents and Caregivers, Children are our most precious national treasure, and we all want to do our part to help ensure they grow up healthy, safe and happy. This Parent Guide will assist you in discussing personal safety with your child. While it’s primarily the responsibility of adults to protect children, the reality is we simply can’t be with them every minute of every day. We can, however, provide children with the knowledge and skills to help recognize and avoid inappropriate behaviors. Along with adult supervision and support, prevention education is essential to child safety. The most prevalent crimes facing youngsters today are bullying and sexual abuse. A full 50% of students bully or are bullied - verbally, physically and mentally (ignoring, excluding, rumors, gestures). Studies show 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. Over 90% of these crimes are committed by someone known and trusted to the child, often a family friend, relative or even a peer. Secrecy surrounding crimes like sexual abuse, bullying, cyber exploitation and school violence gives wrongdoers an advantage they don’t deserve. Oftentimes, children are pressured or threatened into keeping victimization secret. By talking openly with youngsters about how these crimes can happen, how we can help prevent them, and who to tell, we put the advantage back in our court. Fortunately, most forms of childhood victimization are preventable. Adults are encouraged to maintain open lines of communication with children, question inappropriate behaviors and report all suspected abuse. This Guide provides the information and resources needed to take action. Years ago, the National Weather Service reported that tornado-related deaths had declined by two- thirds in one year. The reason? Increased public awareness and preparedness. Using this same combination, we can and will help children stay safe. Rosemary Webb, Kenneth Wooden and Jennifer Mitchell Team Child Lures Prevention Copyright ©2013 by Child Lures® Ltd., 5166 Shelburne Rd, Shelburne, VT 05482, (802) 985-8458. ©1986, 1993, 1995-1999, 2002-13 Cert. of Copyright Registration, U.S. Copyright Offi ce, The Library of Congress: TX 1 736 972. Child Lures® is a Registered Trademark; U.S. Patent and Trademark Offi ce Certifi cate Registration No. 2,063,473. No part of this document may be reproduced, transmitted, transcribed, stored in a retrieval system, or translated into any language or computer language, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, magnetic, optical, manual or otherwise without the express prior written consent of Kenneth Wooden, Rosemary Wooden Webb or Jennifer Wooden Mitchell and Child Lures, Ltd. lllustrations by Christi Baughman. Getting Started Using this Parent Guide First, read this Guide through to familiarize yourself with its contents. Sit down with your child and review it together – ideally one concept at a time. Children learn best through repetition, so read and discuss this Guide regularly. Look for small ways to reinforce these concepts during the course of everyday life. Recognize and praise your child for making respectful and safe choices. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Getting Started Using this Parent Guide For Review Purposes Only: Not for Distribution Think First & Stay Safe! TM 3 PARENT GUIDE Personal Safety Basics Respecting Self and Others Make personal safety an ongoing conversation with your child. This will keep safety strategies fresh and parent-child communication open. Ensure even very young children know their complete name, address and phone number. Teach your child how to dial 911. Identify trusted adults in your child’s life. 1. 2. 3. 4. Be vigilant supervising children, especially during multi-family gatherings with multi-age youngsters. Many children are exploited during sleepovers, by peers or adults. If you choose to allow sleepovers, inquire about supervision, and make sure your child knows how to contact you at any time of the day or night. 5. 6. By nurturing their self-esteem, we instill in youngsters a belief that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Research shows that 95% of everything children learn, they learn from what is modeled for them. By modeling kind and caring relationships, we teach children to think, feel and behave respectfully. Share with your child: Each of us is unique, special and worthy of respect. We should treat others as we’d like to be treated. Let’s respect, admire and celebrate one another’s differences. When children understand what respectful and healthy social relationships look like, it is easier for them to recognize inappropriate and potentially abusive behaviors. Share with your child: Skills that are key to healthy social relationships include respect, anger management, problem solving, negotiation/compromise & assertiveness (not aggression). Abusing or harassing someone is the opposite of treating them with respect. Being victimized in never a child’s fault. Nothing about the way a child looks, what he/she says, wears or does gives anyone the right to mistreat or hurt them. Victims of mistreatment have nothing to be ashamed of; they are not the wrongdoers. Reassure your child that being victimized does not take away one’s dignity. Praise children for acts of kindness, treating others with respect and having the courage to stand up for themselves and others. Together, we can make this world a kinder, safer, more gentle place. • • • • • • • • Think First & Stay Safe™ School Program If you are reading this Parent Guide, there’s a good chance your child is participating in the Think First & Stay Safe™ School Program. Think First & Stay Safe™ is a research-based, teacher-friendly program that provides students with specifi c personal safety education by way of interactive classroom lessons, video and PowerPoint presentations, school posters, role playing and corresponding Student Workbook activities. While adults are primarily responsible for the well-being of youngsters, teaching students to Think First & Stay Safe helps them recognize personal safety risks and enables them to make healthy and safe choices. For Program specifi cs, Grades PreK-6, please visit childluresprevention.com For Grades 7-12 Program information, visit teenluresprevention.com or childluresprevention.com/grades7-12/index.asp “It was an hour of learning that will last a lifetime.” Brian McKenzie, age 8 For Review Purposes Only: Not for Distribution 4 The Lures: While numerically and creatively infi nite, the lures used to groom, intimidate, and exploit youngsters generally fall into the following categories: These lures are used both individually and in various combinations. For example, an abuser might groom a boy over a period of six months (Affection Lure), seduce him with x-rated videos (Pornography Lure) and then threaten to hurt the boy if he reports the abuse (Threats & Weapons Lure). 1. Affection 7. Emergency 13. Pornography 2. Assistance 8. Games 14. Threats & Weapons 3. Pet 9. Hero 15. e-Lure 4. Authority 10. Job 16. Drug 5. Bribery 11. Name 17. Intolerance & School Violence 6. Ego/Fame 12. Friendship (Bullying, Harassment and Weapons) Teaching Children the Concept of Law Youngsters who understand the concept of law – and the concept of breaking the law – are better able to avoid becoming victims of crime. The following two questions are extremely effective in helping children understand the basics of law, crime and punishment. Q: Are there rules you must follow in your home, school or house of worship? A: Yes. Q: What happens when you break those rules? A: You are punished. Explain that everyone has rules they must follow. These rules are called “laws” and were made to protect all people, including children. Those who break the law are punished. It is a crime to harass another person or to plan, threaten or commit an aggressive act. It is against the law for anyone to touch a child’s private parts (see page 5 for exceptions, such as during a medical exam) or to force a child to touch their private parts. Explain to children the seriousness of accusing someone of a crime they didn’t commit, such as bullying or sexual abuse. Falsely accusing someone of a crime is also against the law. Child safety advocates have worked long and hard to dispel the myth of the scary stranger who preys upon children. The fact is, over 90% of sexual abuse is committed by someone known to and often trusted by the youngster and his/her family – a family friend, mother’s boyfriend, peer, relative, coach or babysitter, for example. Furthermore, strangers who do prey on children behave and look quite ordinary. Children usually don’t perceive them as a threat. In the eyes of a child, even a complete stranger who strikes up a friendly conversation quickly becomes someone that child “knows.” Advising children, “Don’t talk to strangers” can actually put them at greater risk for abuse. Instead, youngsters should be taught that they can’t tell just by looking at, talking to, texting uploads/Litterature/ parent-guide 2 .pdf