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Guide 165 get-started gear > calorie shockers > must-try tricks Weight Loss Los

Guide 165 get-started gear > calorie shockers > must-try tricks Weight Loss Losejustafew andfındrewards atwork,atplay, athome—even inthebedroom Y ou & I t’s that time of year again, when men replay the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show or thumb through the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue while their women sit nearby feeling lousy about their postholiday weight gain. These models have set the new standard for sexiness: large, pert (and often surgically enhanced) breasts, a microscopic waist and perfectly sculpted, cellulite-free hips and thighs. Thanks to pop culture icons, American women think that having a body like ﬁve-nine, 119-pound Heidi Klum’s is the answer to a siz- zling and sexy relationship. When Reader’s Digest asked women when they feel sexiest, they said it was when they weighed less than they do now. In fact, 80 percent said that losing weight would improve their sex life (among women who con- sider themselves obese, it jumps to 95 percent). Men showed insecuri- ties too. A whopping 70 percent think a slimmer waistline would lead to better sex, and 42 percent said they would go shirtless only in front of their partner. But here’s the big disconnect: De- spite idealized images, guys really don’t expect (or even want) their wives or girlfriends to be super- model thin. And women aren’t look- ing for Brad Pitt in their beds. Yes, overweight people are having good sex. They know what researchers and scientists are beginning to un- cover: A great sexual experience comes mostly from our minds, not from perfectly proportioned bodies. In fact, striving to look like a lingerie model may be a sexual turnoff. The average body mass index (BMI) of those models is an unhealthy and underweight 17. Women with a BMI of 18.5 are less likely to conceive, and they suffer a drop in hormones that contribute to libido. So that smoldering stork- like model may look phenomenal in the pages of fashion magazines— but may not be a ﬁrecracker in bed. Extra Pounds Can Be Sexy Overweight adults are not only having lots of sex, they’re also getting extreme enjoyment out of it, says Martin Binks, PhD, director of behavioral health at the Diet & Fitness Center at Duke University. Binks’s study subjects are trying to 166 REA DE R ’S DIG E ST I J AN UARY ’08 Guide The“PerfectBody”Myth Bettersexisonlyafewpoundsaway BY CYNTHIA DERMODY drop pounds and probably should for health reasons. But what’s remarkable is that the biggest improvement in their sex lives came when they lost just 10 percent of their body weight. “That’s a very minimal weight loss, and these people were still substantially over- weight,” he says. Still, after a year of dieting, partic- ipants who had felt sexually unat- tractive went from 68 percent to 26 percent. All this goes to show that sex is more about attitude than weight, says Binks. In addition to having a more positive body image, people who’ve lost weight have more energy and J A N UA RY ’ 08 I rd .com 167 PHOTOG RAPHED BY PIERRE DU FOU R Whenasked torate themselvesas “yuck,”“OK” or “hot,”14% ofwomenand 20%ofmen chose“hot.” Morethan 25%ofwomen chose“yuck.” Just13%of mendid. U ingful sex can also lower blood pres- sure, and it tells the gut not to send signals to the brain to eat.” Bottom line: A healthy sex drive can lead to weight loss. There’s an emotional link too: “It makes sense that women who are feeling very full are less interested in sex,” says Sonya Satinsky, project coordinator for the Center for Sex- feel more comfortable communicat- ing with a partner about sexual tech- niques, fantasies and feelings. What’s more, having meaningful, not recreational, sex induces the release of the hormone oxytocin. “It makes a person feel love and empathy,” says noted heart surgeon Mehmet C. Oz, MD, co-author of the You series of health books. “Mean- 168 REA DE R ’S DIG E ST I J AN UARY ’08 ual Health Promotion at Indiana University. One possible explana- tion, she says, goes back to having bad feelings about their body, lead- ing to a lack of desire. Men Worry Too Women aren’t the only ones who are misguided about weight and sex. “Men are increasingly dissatis- ﬁed with their bodies,” says Viren Swami, PhD, of the University of Westminster in England, who has extensively studied the science of attraction. “Some want to be thinner, but most want to be more muscular, and they are increasingly attempting to bulk up.” By some accounts, the rate of steroid use among adolescent boys is now comparable to the rate of anorexia and bulimia among adoles- cent girls. No wonder, since boys are being targeted with images of hairless, V-shaped Adonises in ﬁt- ness magazines and on-screen. Laws of Attraction Throughout history, having a ﬁt and healthy body helped humans ﬁnd a mate and reproduce success- fully. Centuries ago, certain female traits (youth, a small waist, big breasts) indicated fertility. In turn, certain male traits (broad shoulders, dominance, good provider) indi- cated his ability to protect and care for mother and child. Evolutionary psychologist Deven- dra Singh, PhD, of the University of Texas, says men are actually not concerned about a woman’s weight: They’re attracted ﬁrst and foremost to an hourglass shape, which in most cases means a waist that is 70 percent as wide as a woman’s hips, regardless of dress size, a proportion that’s a sign of high fertility. But Swami’s research suggests different cultures have different standards. Men in Western countries like England and the United States ﬂock to thinner women (with a BMI of around 21). Guys in Mediterranean countries like Spain and Portu- gal, which are less afﬂuent and still developing in many ways, consider larger women with curves extremely desirable. This may explain why Latin American men go gaga over divas with well- endowed bottoms, like Jennifer Lopez. “In most traditional societies, people who are able to put on body fat are rich and can afford to buy food,” Swami says. Men whose ancestors hail from regions where food was scarce year-round or seasonally (like parts Guide 169 J A N UA RY ’ 08 I rd .com 35%ofmen saidtheywould lovetohavea bodylikeBrad Pitt’s in the movieTroy. Some5% said they’dbehappy tolooklike chubbyKevin Jamesin The KingofQueens. U of Africa) ﬁnd heavier women very fertile and therefore sexy, says Robert Friar, PhD, a professor of biology at Ferris State University. When given a choice, women do prefer men with broad shoulders and a thin waist, according to a 2006 study by researcher Margaret Braun of Portland State University. But physique is not that crucial. “When women are look- ing for someone to settle down with, they start focusing on other important things,” says evolutionary psychologist Jason Weeden, PhD, of Arizona State University. “Is he going to be a good provider? Is he a reliable guy? Does he want the same things she does?” For both sexes, the real key to attraction may lie due north. The face is a stronger predictor of sexi- ness than the body. In a recent study, 24 people ages 18 to 25 rated digital photos of faces and clothed bodies to determine which one ﬁgured more strongly into overall attrac- tiveness. Women thought a man’s face accounted for nearly half of his overall attractiveness. For men, the face was an even stronger predictor of sexiness. The theory, according to study author Marianne Peters of the University of Western Australia: The face reveals intelligence, per- sonality and conﬁdence level—all things that increase the odds of a great sexual relationship much more than a smaller pant size. Personality Counts “If Queen Latifah doesn’t think she’s sexy, she sure does a good job of fooling us,” says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle. “She carries herself like she’s a babe. And a lot of men think she is.” Once we get to know a person, the non-physical aspects become much more important in long-term rela- tionships and pleasurable sex, says Swami. Still, this is one area of study in which scientists may never have absolute understanding. “Even after all the studies I’ve done,” he says, “I still ﬁnd myself thinking about what attracts me to someone else, and I don’t really have an answer. We’ve always assumed there’s one type of person that we always go for, but that isn’t the case. We see a myriad of people in our everyday lives, and we’re attracted to different people at different times for different reasons. There is a part of attraction that should remain shrouded in mystery.” After all, a bit of mystery can make sex a lot more fun. Additional reporting by Kathryn M. Tyranski 170 Guide REA DE R ’S DIG E ST I J AN UARY ’08 Morethan 26%ofwomen whosaythey’re overweight wouldrather eatlivebugs thanlettheir partnerwatch themwalkout ofawell-lit roomnaked. U J A N UA RY ’ 08 I rd .com Hunt’s ketchup 10cal,0gfat GreyPoupon mustard 10cal,0.05gfat C&H sugar 10cal,0gfat Soysauce 10cal,0gfat Half-and-half 15cal,1.5gfat Sugarin theraw uploads/Litterature/ the-guide 3 .pdf